Loud, Old, Non-Commuter

This morning there was an older woman on our train who was clearly not a commuter. First, as the train left the station, she started looking around and asking people if anyone was going to tell the conductor that we were going in the wrong direction. We were not. She then proceeded to talk on the phone, loudly, for the next 40 minutes. She transferred $2000 out of her IRA and discussed her post-foot surgery plans with a friend. Kill me.

The Informant

There is a NJT employee that works the lower level concourse in Penn Station during evening rush hour. He is an informant. I noticed him when I first started commuting and observed him for a while until I figured it out. Basically, he stands around in his reflective yellow vest and tells his "friends" which track their train is going to be on, before it gets announced! The people he tells love him. Everyone else is visibly jealous.

I'm not sure what this guys ACTUAL job is, but he seems to spend the majority of his time giving away these valuable secrets. You can actually tell when he is in the area because you'll see a small but steady stream of people heading down the stairs to a track that supposedly, according to the screens, has no train.

Recently, The Informant took it upon himself to befriend me. Don't ask me why. I certainly wasn't trying to get his attention, so I can't imagine why he would have chosen to approach the unfriendly looking brunette in the corner. Anyway, now when he sees me coming, he mouths things to me that I can't understand until I take out my earbuds and he can point me towards my track. The other day he decided to tell me my track number in Spanish. I guess he thought I needed a refresher? It took a while for us to get on the same page, but he was VERY proud when I said "gracias!" afterwards. Too bad I would rather be the last one on the train than have to worry about talking to this guy every night.

Dancing Dolls

Penn Station has musicians that set up shop during commuting hours to make some cash and entertain the 10 people that aren't wearing ipods. They are all a little bit off. Some are actually talented, most are just strange, however there is one that stands out as particularly disturbing.

He works the morning commute. He plays the keyboard and I guess you would describe him as a hunchback....basically, his whole body sits up straight but his neck is bent at a 90 degree angle which causes him to stare directly down at his lap. This is not funny, in fact, I imagine that it is quite uncomfortable. He plays his songs by heart since he can't actually look at the keyboard, so I guess he knows what he's doing. Beyond the fact that he sets his keyboard to the organ setting, I don't have a problem with the actual music that he is playing. My big issue with this guy is his tiny dancing dolls. Right. I guess his mentality is that, since he cannot dance and play the keyboard at the same time, these tiny dolls can do the job for him. He sets them up on the ground in front of his keyboard and they shake their hips. They are about a foot tall....one is a blonde.

Lady Lips

So, I have been standing next to this guy on the train platform for the last year+. He is a pretty normal looking guy. Fit, short-ish, nice head of hair. Only problem? Lady Lips. His mouth is sexy and voluptuous and would be a blessing, FOR A WOMAN. He even grew a little goatee this Winter. It didn't help.